We Just Found Out What The Barney Actor Does Now And Our Childhood Is Ruined
Oh, okay then.
We have a rule in the Nova office.
All stories that a) elicit a NOPE or OMG NO reaction and/or b) ruin our childhoods must be shared.
If we have to encounter it. So do our colleagues and by extension you guys.
The latest story, we're pleased to say, hits all three markers. Huzzah!
Here it is in a nutshell:
The actor who played Barney now runs a tantric sex business.
VICE have revealed David Joyner, who played Barney from 1991 to 2001 has taken a bit of a career turn.
A full session with the tantric massage specialist and spiritual healer (three to four hours) will cost $350.
The former purple dinosaur only accepts female clients but they can expect to be treated to a ritual bath, chakra balancing and massage.
Optional: supposedly mind-blowing orgasms.
And just in case you thought he had a mid-life crisis or something that lead him down this path... no.
“The energy I brought up [while] in the costume is based on the foundation of tantra, which is love,” he explained to VICE.
“Everything stems, grows, and evolves from love. Even when you have emotionally blocked energy, the best way to remove it is to remove it with love, and then replace it with God’s divine love. Love heals and allows you to continue to grow.”
The fact that his children's character could be created with tantric energy seems confusing however it would seem the word 'tantric' has lost its meaning.
Matthias Rose from the Source School of Tantra explained more to VICE:
“Tantra is a spiritual science of consciousness. Its goal is to liberate us from the unconscious programming that keeps us from recognizing the divinity in ourselves and all beings,” he explained.
"Classical tantra included sexuality as one practice among many designed to help us expand our consciousness beyond the ordinary reality of the “ego” self, says Rose. He adds, “If there is corruption, it came about in the marketing of books, videos, and ultimately escort services that all began to use the word tantra as a shorthand for 'mindful sexuality.' Sex sells, so... there you have it."
^^^ Yes that's Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato.
Despite his best efforts, it would seem David is on the outs with most tantric specialists.
He has, for example, been treated with some scepticism for claiming condoms "block the energy" and saying he would not use them with clients.
VICE spoke to a full time tantra life coach named Kaya Kwan Yin has said this concept is "shady" and "ridiculous".
One client also claims to have found David through Tinder...
And honestly we have to stop there 'cause we CAN'T EVEN.
Image: Barney & Friends
WATCH: Stop With The Kissing Sounds! And Other Thoughts During The Bachelor