Kim Kardashian Finally Did Vogue's 73 Questions And WOW
We open on a door. 'Flashing Lights' by Kanye West quietly rises in the background. We know this. It's Vogue's 73 Questions.
We're finally getting a peek at Kim Kardashian West's Axel Vervoordt–designed house. It's here.
The door swings open...
And what follows is the most generic, yet oddly unrelatable 73 Questions we've ever seen.
Where's the Emma Stone pizazz?
Where the magic trick from Neil Patrick Harris?
No, it's just "I woke up at 5:45am, brushed my teeth and... worked out."
But despite the - honestly, deflating - opening, this 73 Questions is anything but relatable.
What starts with the words "minimal monastery" (to describe their home) quickly devolves into Anna [Wintour] supposedly influencing North's name and a joint pity laugh at Paris Hilton.
And that's not even the best bit.
The 'best gift' Kanye ever gave Kim?
A box with Mickey Mouse [it's unclear if this is a toy, merch or some kind of crude drawing], Adidas socks and Apple headphones.
While some of us would be ecstatic to receive, IDK, an orange from our significant other, these were just representative gifts.
Kim's REAL gift was "major stock" in these companies.
"When I thought it was just Adidas socks and headphones I was like, 'thanks'," she recounted with disdain.
We will add that there is a whole, like five minutes, of the video in which Kanye quietly steals the show while the kids play around. The energy drops noticeably once her little scene stealers are gone though.
We won't spoil the whole thing for you, so please watch the below if you dare.
And for those who don't ~feel~ it today?
Please enjoy Kim's awkward shuffle down her cavernous hallway: